How Awful It is To Be Sick

Well there is nothing special for this blog that I will make. I will just take down of my experience having chicken pox. Hahahaha. It's funny, right? Anyway this started last Monday, January 23. I felt different on that day, I felt very weak and felt cold. I thought it was just nothing - a simple feeling of not being okay. But on early Tuesday morning I noticed a blister on my upper chest, near my collar bone. I pricked it. But then I still feel very weak on that day. On Tuesday night, I notice that the blisters added up. Then I noticed that it's a chicken pox already. Having that same weakness of the body and that blisters on my body I still manage to go to work. Anyway I went to see the company nurse and of course I was sent home.

On Wednesday morning I see a doctor and he gave me a vaccine and I bought the medicine prescribed to me. And as days go by, I feel worse. It's so itchy and I can't sleep well. I just pray that this will soon be gone. Goodness. But anyway, I just entertain myself. Haha. Doing computer stuff, watching movies, eating fruits and all. That's life. But I still stay it's awful.

As Erica Jong says : "Surviving meant being born over and over." Definitely true. You just have to survive everyday of your life. :)

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

"In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated."
                                                                                                           -Viola Spolin


    Wanting others to approve of our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.
    In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets.
     Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give.
     Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours.


I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

     A surgical magazine tells the story of a hard-pressed, irritable, nervous, overworked surgeon in a busy New York City hospital. He was ready to perform another emergency operation. He was in a hurry, it was Christmas Eve, December 24, and it had been quite a day in the surgical suite.
    The patient was a beautiful girl of 17 who had been seriously injured in an auto accident. The nurse, about to give the anesthetic, ssaid kindly, "Relax - breathe deeply and the pain will be gone."
    The girl said, "Would you mind if I repeated the 23rd Psalm from the Bible, before you operate?"
    The nurse looked at the surgeon and he nodded; the girl began:
    "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. . . . "
    The surgeon continued with his preparations, but everyone else stood still, listening. They had heard these beautiful words many times in church but they had never sounded so moving. Here in that surgical suite, they had another meaning, a deeper kind of meaning to them.
     The girl went on, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me. . . ."
     The nurse held the cone above her to begin with the anesthetic.
     "Hold it," said the doctor. "Let her finish." Then he moved over and looked down at her and said, "Go on, honey, say it to the end and say it for me too, won't you?"
     They all stood quietly and listened as her heart, full of faith, filled the operating room that Christmas Eve day. They heard some of the most moving words ever written:
     "Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me," she paused, catching her breath, then went on to the finish, "and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
    The surgeon looked down at her. He was relaxed, his sense of irritation was gone. There was no feeling of other duties pressing in on him. He and his patient and the operating room crew were at peace and ready for the surgery.
    Everybody in that room had been lifted by that girl's faith. 



And Mary said: "My soul praises the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour" (Luke 1:46-47)

Opportunities!

"Once I knew that I wanted to be an artist, I had made myself into one. I did not understand that wanting doesn't always lead to action. Many of the women had been raised without the sense that they could mold and shape their own lives, and so, wanting to be an artist (but without the ability to realize their wants) was, for some of them, only an idle fantasy, like wanting to go to the moon."
                                                                                                                         - Judy Chicago


There are probably not many of us, in this recovery program, who grappled with life as straigth on as Judy Chicago did. It is likely we didn't understand that we could mold and shape our lives. How lucky we are to be learning that now with the help of the Twelve Steps and one another. Each day we are confronted with many opportunities to make responsible choices, reasonable decisions. These choices and decisions are the molders, the shapers, of who we are becoming. Our identity as women is strengthened each time we thoughtfully make a choice. The action we take through making each choice gives our identity more substance - our wholeness as women is guaranteed through these choices.



Many opportunities to make choices will arise today. I can be thoughtful and make choices that will lead to my greater wholeness.



From Hazelden Meditation Series: EACH DAY A NEW BEGINNING, Daily Meditations for WOmen